Manners Please?

Sara Here:
Eating with three little boys sometimes feels like eating with three Tasmanian devils. Usually there is screaming, random jumping from their chairs to run around the kitchen, spilling/throwing food and hysterical laughter as someone lets out a big burp. I sit there sometimes and daze off into a 1950's dreamland where I have mannerly little boys with British accents saying "Yes Mother, please Mother, supper is delightful Mother."

Then I snap back into reality and vow to improve my wild mealtime adventures.

My Dad was British, and a Captain on ships. I am not sure if these things contributed to his rule of law at the dinner table, but it was strict. Please and thank you; knife and fork; you must be excused from the table; no bodily sounds (even while drinking); no scraping your knife along the plate, thank the chef, and the list went on. When I think back on it, it was actually nice. We ate dinner at the table, and because we were aware of the rules, they just came naturally.

I appreciate these things now when I am out to dinner with colleagues or friends. I know how to behave at the table, thanks to my Dad. He believed that "Manners Maketh Man." Not sure what he would think of dinner with my little cavemen.

Don't get me wrong - I have tried. My Dad's rules come naturally to me, and I find myself trying to implement them like crazy. To be fair, my memories of nice meals with my parents are a time when I was older - my kids are 6 and under. They are excited to be home from daycare, and to be with their parents and each other. They are also tired and cranky and hungry. They want to laugh. They have no tolerance. All in all, not the best time for teaching.

So, one of the things I am trying is to teach them manners at different times. On the weekend, I will set a tea party, and implement the rules. They are having fun, and they are more inclined to learn the rules. Then at supper I remind them of the things they learned at this party.

I also ensure that my husband and I are always following the rules ourselves. We never ask each other, or the kids, for anything without a please and thank you. We thank each other for the meal, we don't complain about what is on our plate, and we try everything.

We also reiterate to them that they are big boys, so using a fork and knife, or not burping at the table is what is expected of them. If they need help, or to be excused from the table, that is fine.

We also try to keep them engaged in conversation of some sort. And when they are finished, we let them be excused for the table.

It is important to keep your expectations at a reasonable place depending on the child. And not to give up. They will get it eventually. Or else we will just make them all eat together.

I found a great web article on this subject. Check it out: http://momsonedge.wordpress.com/2007/11/17/14-table-manners-that-your-child-should-know/ and send us any good tips or articles you have. Happy eating!